Likelihood of Success

Best of 2009: “Life imitates Steve Martin”

Jan 1, 2010 Homo sapiens, Nuvo-Techno, Sisyphus

This was posted August 7, 2009.

Only worse. Steve Martin, from the old days:

How many people have cats? One, two, three, four…okay, ten. Now- let me ask you this…do ya trust ‘em? Because I’ve gotta get a pair of cat handcuffs and I gotta get ‘em right away. Just the little ones that go around the little front paws or maybe the manacles..four, to get all four paws. But what a drag; I found out my cat was embezzling from me. You think you know a cat for ten years, he pulls something like this. I found out that while I was away, he would go out to the mailbox, pick up the checks, take ‘em down to the bank and cash ‘em… disguised as me. He had the little kitty arrow through the head…and the little kitty bunny ears. And I wouldn’t have caught him, but I went out to his house where he sleeps…and there was about $3,000 worth of cat toys out there. Any you can’t return ‘em ’cause they have spit all over them! So now I’m stuck with $3000 worth of cat toys! Oh, sure…they’re fun. You got the little rubber mouse; has a bell inside of it- Haw haw haw! Boy, I hate it when it goes under the sofa! Whoa, gimme that! Gimme that! Hiss! hiss!

And now, this:

Keith Griffin was charged Wednesday with 10 counts of possession of child porn after over 1,000 illegal images were found on his computer, and he claims it’s all the work of his kitty.

The 48-year-old Jensen Beach, Fla., man told cops he would leave his computer on and the cat would jump on the keyboard and just like that, the images would appear.

Time was a crooked cat, while bad enough, only harmed his own soul.