Velvety
Jan 10, 2008 Ars Longa, Heart and spirit, Jocularity
This morning my voice is a nice, velvety baritone. Meaning, of course, that there’s
a bunch of spit hanging onto my second-tenor pipes. I don’t know if this means the end of the last cold, the beginning of a new one, or if at age 44 my voice has finally finished c
hanging.
But, gosh, I like it this way.
I think I would just be so much more effective as a person if I had a deep voice. And, you know, happier, too. I just love the sound of the opening verse of Lou Rawls’s “You’ll Never Find’” — he just scoops up that “You’ll Never Find” with that beautiful vocal tone and yes! That’s where I want to be.
This morning, I almost am.
Baby.
January 10th, 2008 at 11:09 am
“Meaning, of course, that there’s a bunch of spit hanging onto my second-tenor pipes.”
Who’d a ever thunk it?
But you know I had a buddy once who had a really deep voice. I was kidding him about the way he talked one time and he told me, “Ah, Jack, I didn’t always talk this way?”
“No kidding?”
“Nah, but when I was in Panama I learned a little trick during the rainy season.”
“Oh, yeah, what’s that?”
“Every night, right before sack, I began lubricating my [own self] with Crisco and axle grease. Mainly to keep my [own self] from getting wet rot, but then later I found out it deepened my pipes.”
Now, I’m not saying that works, I’ve never tried it truth to tell, and I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing either, but from your expression in that photograph, I can’t help but wonder if there’s something you’re not telling us, and that maybe you’re secretly trying the same thing.
If you are then let me know how it’s working out for ya.
I got a bunch of old axle grease out in the garage I’d like to find some good use for.
Just promise me you won’t eat the stuff.
I know another fella who used to drink grease, and that didn’t turn out so well.
But that’s a story for another day.
January 10th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Yeah, that really is about as much “story” as we can, er, digest just this now, Jack. Thanks for weighing in on it.
FWIW, I don’t take anything not recommended by a doctor that goes in or on one end and does magic on the other end. To much in between to worry about, you know? I can live with balding, but I don’t want to have to think twice about what else minoxidil is doing in there.
Also, in all seriousness, obviously God wants me to sound exactly the way I do. And if He gives me a fun morning such as this from time to time… Baby!
January 10th, 2008 at 11:25 am
I recently heard a re-broadcast of American Top 40 from the 1980’s. Casey Kasem said that Rawls had been nearly killed in car crash and suffered amnesia. He apparently regained his memory in middle of a concert.
More here.
January 10th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Crisco?? We’ve jumped the shark!
January 10th, 2008 at 11:48 am
“Thanks for weighing in on it.”
Think nothing of it. It’s what I do.
“Crisco?? We’ve jumped the shark!”
It is velvety smooth, isn’t it?
“Casey Kasem said that Rawls”
My wife met Rawls at college once.
She said he was a real nice guy.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Funny, Ron, you sound the same from here.
January 10th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Well, of course, David. I thought you’d gotten this straight by now, though.
January 10th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Holy Crap Ron.
Does the commissioner of baseball know about that?
January 10th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Ara, the Commish was actually a lot more concerned about the Crisco and the axle grease.
January 10th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
…and pine tar.
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