It’s me, though I’ve already found one line is off-meter.
I’ll correct that in the final draft.

“I think I get it,”

Well, that makes one of us…

“Why is this being stuffed into the comments of an obscure blog?!”

You got me, that’s just the way I work.

I can’t write poems about how the creamy bubbles in my latte (I hope I’m spelling that right, I don’t drink lattes, I just drink coffee) make me get all metaphysical and weepy poetic, or about my favorite red cardigan and how the clever weaving really symbolizes the fall of the Roman Empire or the dystopia of modern life. I can’t do any of that modern stuff.

But, whenever I see something from real life I can vomit one out, Johnny-on-the-spot. A verse or two based on my own experiences, or things I have encountered. Or studied, or so forth. Sometimes even based on experiences of my buddies and friends. I don’t know why but if the mood or the muse strikes me then I just think in poems. Sometimes I can think in math, sometimes in poetry, sometimes in symbols. And sometimes iffin I’m really lucky, not at all.

This one took about ten minutes, with another ten of editing, but I also missed the meter glitch.

Doesn’t mean I didn’t put effort into it, I did. I try to put my best effort in anything I write, unless it is a joke, and then I get really serious. Because comedy makes me laugh.

Anywho I plan on trying to publish a book of my poems this upcoming year, along with some of my fictional stuff and a non-fiction book on Intel and espionage work I’ve been writing for awhile. But to tell you the truth, the way most people look at poetry, and the way most modern poets have emasculated the form, I expect to make about as much money on this blog peddling the stuff as I will get off the book. So here is as good a place as any. I figure I might break even that way. But if it bothers you then I’ll run my first drafts somewhere else. It won’t bother me any if it bothers you, I’m easy that way. Heck, I’m easy most anyway if she dresses right.

Well, the whole family is a coming down, and although my old man is still alive, I’ve become something of the family patriarch now, since I now own the family estate and all. So I gotta go do me up a big fat turkey with all the fixins. And I also gotta try and repair whatever my wife tried to cook while she ain’t lookin. Iffin I can.

You folks take care and see ya on the flip side.

Get in some gravy for me, will ya?

Is that original?

It sure sounds like you.

I think I get it, and I know I like it.

Ah, what the hell…
It’s Christmas Eve…

Men in our wandering will wonder
What the wonder within us will bring,
Will life knit together, or sunder
When our wonder transforms into things,

I reckon no man can be happy
And I reckon no man can be sad,
Til he knows with a certain what happens
When his dreams become that which he has,

And I’d like to say beware of knowing,
But how can you know if you don’t -
But what our wonder just might not be showing
Is that everything carries our wont,

Now what do you mean when you’re saying
That desire can sire ourselves?
I reckon that trust is conveying
That I is not found in themselves,

Days and in nights we make plainest
What desires will live on in us,
But not just within what is stated
Will the blade of desire so thrust,

Our desires give real to our actions
Our actions give real to the world,
Some caution in all our abstractions
When desire is freely unfurled,

Now man cannot tame where his heart roams
For the heart is so often quite wild,
But he can assure true what his heart homes
If he conquers what wont has so riled,

Now why bother to better control that
Which the heart has first stirred to arouse?
Are not all things such first when so begat
That we must find a way to allow?

Every man to his answer must make him
And no other will make such a choice,
But before taking cup to the top brim
Consider all gains bring some loss,

And if loss to yourself is the standard
Then risk to yourself may prevail,
But if others must pay when you pander
Then some heavens just may lead to hell,

Now is love ever bad in our best dreams
I suspect that it pro’bly is not,
But does best in this world always happen
Despite what the heart does allot?

So perhaps men are more than desire
And the heart more than merely a’flame,
And some loves may exist to attire
What will never be known by acclaim,

But comfort yourself with this habit
That not all things will be shown in this world,
But that is the world we inhabit
And the hope which within us lays curled.

In all seriousness, this hits much closer to home the second time around. And I’ve debated keeping silent about this too, but here goes.

Since your original post, I have been completely smitten by a coworker. She works 500 miles away, but we chat and email daily. And we see each other 8-10 times a year. Often on business trips, and that can be trouble.

Some things have changed over the years. She actually played the Murray role here, and broached the subject first. We’ve known each other for 7 years, and the sparks were there from day one. But as we got to know each other better, it has grown over the years to the point of obviousness.

I’m 42, she’s 40. We’re both married (second time for both). We both love our jobs. And we’re both generally happy with where our lives have brought us. She’s got one child, but I’ve got none. Neither of us is very religious, or prudish. But after our little talk, we’ve agreed to never go beyond a friendly hug. So we are still “pure and chaste from afar”.

It’s painful sometimes, especially in this day and age. I’m generally content with life, but still I always wonder, could I be happier? Sometimes I think its best to just put the thought out of my head and move on. Other times, I think I should ponder it, and work through the what-ifs and the possible scenarios.

In legal terms, the preponderance of evidence tells me I’m doing the right thing here. But I’m still not convinced beyond a reasonable doubt. Or maybe my doubts aren’t reasonable? Anyway, I sleep well at night, and that’s probably as good a positive indicator as any.

I think its situations like this where it would be helpful to have religious beliefs to fall back on, if only to help assure me that I’m making the right decision. The experience I have gained over the years tells me I am. And I am thankful I have access to the accumulated wisdom passed down through the ages by the various religions, and more recent secular histories. That’s a big help. But sometimes it’s just not enough. That touch of faith in rewards in the hereafter can tip a lot of scales.